3 keys to live a life without regret

There's a thought experiment I've been obsessing over lately.

It's uncomfortable. Probably the most uncomfortable question you can ask yourself.

But it might be the most important one too.

The Deathbed Test: If you knew you had one year left to live, what would you immediately stop doing? And what would you desperately want to start?

The Wake-Up Call I Wasn't Ready For

Three years ago, I ended up in a hospital bed in the middle of summer. Nothing life-threatening, but serious enough to force a complete stop.

Lying there, with nothing but time and my thoughts, I had my first real encounter with mortality.

And you know what terrified me most?

It wasn't the medical situation.

It was realizing I couldn't clearly answer what I'd miss most if it all ended.

Not because I didn't have things I loved—but because I'd been so busy optimizing my days that I'd forgotten to actually live them.

The Productivity Paradox That's Killing Our Lives

We've become experts at doing things efficiently.

But we've forgotten to question whether we should be doing them at all.

I see this everywhere:

• People crushing their to-do lists while feeling empty inside

• Professionals hitting every KPI while losing touch with their values

• Multipotentialites juggling dozens of projects but feeling disconnected from their purpose

We've optimized for motion, not meaning.

What Dying People Actually Wish They'd Done Differently

Palliative care workers hear the same themes over and over from people in their final days.

And here's what's striking: nobody wishes they'd been more productive.

Instead, they wish they'd been more:

• Authentic to their true selves

• Present with people they loved

• Courageous in expressing their feelings

• Intentional about joy and happiness

• Selective about where they spent their energy

The common thread? They wish they'd lived more consciously.

The Three Filters That Change Everything

After my hospital wake-up call, I developed three simple filters that transformed how I make decisions.

Every opportunity, every commitment, every "yes" or "no" gets run through these:

Filter #1: The Legacy Test

"Will this matter to the person I want to be remembered as?"

Not your LinkedIn persona. Not your professional brand. The human being you actually want to be.

This filter immediately eliminates 80% of busywork disguised as "important."

Filter #2: The Energy Audit

"Does this give me energy or drain it?"

We think we have unlimited capacity to do things that deplete us. We don't.

Every minute spent on energy-draining activities is a minute stolen from what could energize and fulfill you.

Filter #3: The 80-Year-Old Test

"If I were looking back at 80, would I be proud of how I spent today?"

This isn't about being perfect. It's about being intentional.

Your 80-year-old self won't care about your inbox zero. But they'll care about whether you chose connection over productivity, growth over comfort, authenticity over approval.

The Multipotentialite's Unique Challenge

If you're a multipotentialite, these filters become even more crucial.

Your natural tendency toward variety and exploration can become scattered busyness without clear intention.

The question isn't "How do I choose between my interests?"

It's "How do I pursue my interests in a way that aligns with who I want to become?"

Some of your projects will pass all three filters. Others won't pass any.

The magic happens when you're brave enough to act on what the filters reveal.

The Uncomfortable Truth About Time

Here's what three years of applying these filters has taught me:

Most of what we think is urgent isn't.

Most of what we think is important isn't.

Most of what we think will make us happy won't.

But when you filter your choices through the lens of legacy, energy, and long-term pride, clarity emerges.

You start saying no to good opportunities to save space for great ones.

You stop optimizing your schedule and start designing your life.

Your August Reality Check

This month, I challenge you to run your current commitments through these three filters:

For each major project/commitment, ask:

1. Legacy Test: Does this reflect who I want to be remembered as?

2. Energy Audit: Does this energize or drain me?

3. 80-Year-Old Test: Will I be proud of this investment of time and energy?

Be brutally honest.

The goal isn't to eliminate everything challenging—it's to eliminate everything meaningless.

The Permission to Redesign

Here's what nobody tells you about living intentionally:

You have permission to change direction.

You have permission to quit projects that no longer serve you.

You have permission to disappoint people who expect you to remain the same.

You have permission to prioritize meaning over momentum.

The people in hospice beds aren't regretting the changes they made—they're regretting the changes they didn't make.

What This Looks Like in Practice

Since implementing these filters, I've:

• Turned down "prestigious" opportunities that felt misaligned

• Invested more time in relationships that energize me

• Simplified my business to focus on what I actually love

• Said no to revenue that came with energy costs I wasn't willing to pay

The result? Less activity, more fulfillment. Fewer projects, greater impact. Simpler systems, richer experiences.

Your Life Audit Starts Now

Don't wait for a hospital bed or a life crisis to ask these questions.

Start today:

1. List your current major commitments (work projects, relationships, habits, goals)

2. Run each through the three filters

3. Identify what needs to change (and have the courage to change it)

Remember: Every day you delay living intentionally is a day you can't get back.

Your 80-year-old self is counting on the decisions you make right now.

What would pass your three filters test? What would fail? Hit reply and let me know—I read every response.

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