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How to live your life the way you want to

How to live your life the way you want to

The Path to real fulfillment and freedom

Jo Yang
November 03, 2024

It's easy to get lost in life wondering “where do I fit in?” or thinking “I feel like I don't fit into this world!”

But is it really possible to live your life the way you want to, knowing that there are systems and codes of the world and society that are beyond you?

I answer these questions in this first newsletter of November, the penultimate month of the year, providing an opportunity for some introspection to end the year on a high note and prepare for what's to come...

⭐ How do you really live your life the way you want to?

Living fully according to your own values means deciding to take the wheel of your life, regardless of what others think, despite the fears and expectations that society imposes.

It starts by listening to our intuition, that little voice inside us that knows what's right for us, but which we too often ignore.

To move forward, we need to learn to say no without feeling guilty, set clear limits, free ourselves from the gaze of others, and above all stop trying to prove anything.

It's normal to be afraid, but fear only has power if we let it guide our choices.

Choosing your own rules means choosing to live, not to survive.

Getting up every day with the courage to be yourself is the real luxury.

It's the courage to :

Making choices and sacrifices for your projects
Not always being understood or justified
Daring to say no and set limits
Taking paths other than the well-trodden ones
Remaining true to your values
Don't give in to fears and judgments

To achieve this:

Be clear about your value system and follow your intuition

When I'm having trouble being clear about “where I'm going”, I focus on my value system and my own personal “compass” (I teach how to create it in Outsiders).

It's crucial to listen to our inner voice, the intuition that often knows what's right for us, even when the mind hesitates.

Our values are our roots, reminding us of what's important and guiding us in our choices.

Listening to your own values means building your life on a solid foundation, no matter what the storms outside.

Develop high self-esteem and self-confidence

The most easily influenced and manipulated people lack self-esteem and self-confidence.

When you're clear about your worth and qualities, you don't seek the approval of others, and you don't let outside elements upset you.

Your self-esteem may be stable and strong, but your confidence will need time to grow.

Free yourself from the gaze of others and stop comparing yourself

Other people will always have an opinion, advice or criticism. But their gaze reflects only their own perception, their own prism of reality.

The more confidently you move forward, the less important the judgment of others becomes. It's not an easy path, but it's one of the most liberating.

By the way, I recommend that you model and listen to the people who share your values and the life you want, not just those who have the results you're aiming for. The process and the path that inspires you is as important as the destination.

Make peace with fears

Fear is natural. It will always be there, but it only has power if we let it take control.

Learn to recognize it, to dialogue with it.

Sometimes, behind a fear lies a deep-seated desire.

When you take the plunge, you often discover that the catastrophic scenario you imagined was just an illusion.

What's more, what's important to you and what you're afraid of is usually precisely where you need to be!

Learn to say no and set limits

Saying no, without guilt, is a key skill.

We're often afraid of disappointing, of being judged, of being less loved.

But setting limits means respecting ourselves.

It's also a way of ensuring that our energy is invested where it really counts.

Saying No is an act of courage to say Yes to ourselves!

Act with awareness, consistency and perseverance

Making life choices a reality takes time and consistency.

Consistency is essential: little by little, each choice in line with our values creates an authentic life.

It's not a question of being perfect, but of moving forward each day a little more towards what's right for you.